Sunday, January 22, 2012

Thoughts on the Evitability of Mitt and the Mutability of Newt

(As I write this, Newt Gingrich just won South Carolina in a convincing fashion, spanking the dollar-regurgitating Romney machine with a rolled-up newspaper. Of course, newspapers aren't as thick as they used to be. I've been posting at PJMedia in the Comments section, usually picking a fight with anyone who loftily declares the nomination of one Mitt Romney as "inevitable." I'll summarize some of my thoughts here....)

Yesterday, Philip Klein of the Washington Examiner tweeted: “The theoretically electable candidate isn't very electable & the theoretically conservative one isn't very conservative.”

That’s a good and quite amusing description of Romney and Gingrich.

I had actually written off Newt long ago, which shows you how much I know. If Newt can get this far, without an organization, without money, without the blessing of the Republican National Committee, and with all his backroom betrayals, ex-wives, global warming commercials with Nancy Pelosi, weasely little eyes, high-pitched voice and irritating smugness... well, imagine where he'd be now with only half of all that baggage.

As for the other guy, I think you can stick Mittens in a cedar chest for the summer, he’s done. If he can’t win with all that cash and half of Washington on his campaign payroll, plus the endorsement of the RNC and even National Review -- to me, it says he’d be a great Republican candidate if only there were any actual Republicans who liked him. Too bad for Mitt that Democrats can't vote in the Republican Primaries. Though you should never actually say that to a Democrat, he'll take it as a challenge.

No doubt, Mitt's problems with the conservative base are a plus in the eyes of the RNC, who in the past have been known to let their dislike of conservatives show. In years divisible by four, the RNC likes to ask, “Can we not run a Republican and just say we did?” They’d really rather run a Democrat, only Joe Lieberman won't return their calls and Zell Miller is too conservative. If the RNC issued currency, Arlen Specter would be on the dollar bill. Maybe Larry Craig would be on the $3 bill.

But the RNC appears to harbor no love for Newt, who is just not satisfied with keeping Republican snouts in the trough, but occasionally says or does something alarming -- like, e.g., he's been known to disagree with liberals on... something, I forget what.

Which is to say, Newt doesn’t mind agreeing with liberals either. I figure he’ll treat conservatives the way he’s treated his ex-wives, vowing love and respect until death do us part. But then he'll get caught flying Air Force One to that shack outside LaGrange, hooking up with the sleaziest mascara-dripping liberal he can find, and wearing cowboy chaps. And when caught, he'll explain to you convincingly how your own dirty mind is playing tricks with you. You'll be ashamed of yourself. Look at CNN's John King. When King played the open-marriage gambit on Newt, the explosion of righteous indignation from the unrighteous ex-Speaker of the House went way past 8.9 on the Richter scale, past 9.9, past even 10.9, all the way up to Jimmy Swaggart-point-nine. Newt had everyone in the auditorium, including John King, hating John King for asking the question.

The greatest debate never staged would be Newt vs. Newt. It would be like watching the Tasmanian Devil chase his own tail. If anyone can talk his way into the White House, it’s Newt. Of course, it’s two-to-one that he’ll talk himself out of the White House instead.

But Newt does the one thing mainstream Republicans can never bring themselves to do: he looks liberals square in the eye and fights. That goes a long way with conservatives who too often get the feeling that their own champions are too embarrassed to be seen with them. The only times GW Bush ever squared off against someone like that, it was against his own base.


Joe said...

Fantastically worded and highly astute analysis RT!

Someone will have to explain to me, though, how I am a conservative who loves Reagan with a passion, dislike Clinton and Obama with equal passion, staunchly support W and could do without McCain and Dole, yet I am firmly behind Mitt, and not just for lack of a better alternative. I think there are many many like this (take Coulter for example). Somehow the Non-Romney perspective looks right past us, which would be frustrating if we didn't have the assurance of the many respected, smart, conservative governors, pundits, and businessmen who support Romney. Romney's is a record to defend on the national stage. If it comes down to defending Newt for four years, we all might be gracefully bowing out.

Lee said...

Well, Joe, I think you know my reasons for not liking Romney which could be summarized in one phrase: he's no conservative, and the country is in no shape to mess around with faux conservatives. We are in dire need of the real deal.

Conservatives have never dominated the GOP the way liberals have dominated the Democratic Party at least since McGovern. It's one thing for conservatives to have to deal with "organization men" who love running things but have no clue as to what ends they should apply their skills. It's something else again to have to deal with, and work within, an organization that flat-out hates you.

The "respected, smart" people behind Romney are there because the GOP establishment favors Romney. It's that simple. The old saying goes like this: the Democrats get incited, but the Republicans get in line. Being backed by the Party and all of its respectable people is what has given Romney his air of inevitability. But being the favorite of the organization men, as we saw in SC, does not guarantee the win.

And I disagree on Romney's record. Romney has a record a liberal Democrat could be proud of.

Joe said...

That still looks past guys like me who aren't organization men and don't hate you. But if you're saying I'm one of a kind, I'll take that as a compliment :-)

Lee said...

You're definitely not of the establishment Republican mindset, Joe. For one thing, you like Reagan. Establishment Republicans have to pretend they liked Reagan. But at the time, they most certainly did not.